6 productive things to do with your existential angst
I grew up with the cold war and the nebulous but never quite absent threat of nuclear holocaust. It didn’t take too long out of the gate of the new millenium to replace the relative safetly of the 90s with the possibility of terrorist invasion. The following decades were characterized by a general sense of dread around global economic collapse and the nauseating elevator-descending feeling of watching the polar ice caps melt in real time. And then, just as humanity felt poised on the threshold of climate catastrophe and the point of no return, the Covid-19 Pandemic served as a powerful reminder to fear the micro-scale threats to society just as much as the planetary ones.
Add in the social catalyst of a politically incendiary climate that normalized wall-building, capitol-storming, police-brutality-celebrating, victim-shaming, science-denial, and reinforcement of rigid gender roles under the auspices of a quasi-religious mandate (and if you want to point out the fact that this particular horrorshow has been developing for decades now, both in America and overseas in traditional bastions of white supremacy and the beneficiaries of a colonialist system, I wouldn’t argue) and no wonder even the briefest exposure to the news brings about episodes of frantic incoherent murmuring, rocking-back-and-forth, and paralytic despair.
I remember telling my psychologist about the quote “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society,” and the words still stir a deep sense of truth in the troubled corners of my soul. My therapist had no recourse to argument, but she did ask why I felt that I had to be the one to bear the burdens of the world. To which I replied, “duty or not, we’ll all have to bear the consequences of the world when it falls apart.” Apparently, this is what those in the mental health profession call “paranoia.”
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society,”
Jiddu Krishnamurti (20th century philosopher)
At this point, I actually needed to stop therapy for a little while, because hearing myself talk about my horror at the state of the world week after week was making me miserable. Especially because of the general sense of helplessness that followed. So I deleted all my social media apps, and decided instead to focus all my anxious energy on preparing for the apocalypse.
To be fair, at this stage, I had been haunted with anxiety and depression for over thirty years, and was still trying to find a name for exactly what made my brain torture me with worst-case-scenarios and the weight of social responsibility more heavily than most individuals who would be considered “well adjusted.” And having children (my third had been recently born) only makes those feelings of urgency more crippling. That somehow, if the world can’t be saved for them, there must be something you can do to prepare a place where they will be safe.
I will not lie. I have fantasized about bunker living many times. Ah, to imagine an existence free from social pressure and expectations, based purely on the needs of survival, not the weird religion of capitalism, the impossible staircase of meritocracy, the competitive climbing of the consumer, living to work for the banks and working to live on the merest morsels of dignity, and all the agony of meaninglessness that entails.
Compared to the modern life paradigm, the simplicity of retiring to a self-sufficient, subterranean cloister seems positively halcyon.
And to be honest, I still dream of off-grid living for all those reasons, although I would prefer an above-ground residence, preferably with an internet connection to stave off the inertia and total apathy of complete isolation.
But aside from forsaking society altogether and withdrawing to a hermitage, there are probably a number of ways to put all that existential angst to good use.
After all, anxiety is an evolutionary adaptation designed to improve our chances of survival. Why fight the lizard brain? Put that tremendous cerebral Gila monster to work. there are plenty of “normal” things you can do to prepare for complete societal collapse that will still benefit you even if doomsday doesn’t happen.
1.) Plant a garden.
Food scarcity is likely to become a real problem within our lifetime. We’ve already seen supply chain breakdowns during the pandemic, and as a result of unusually severe seasonal weather events such as flooding and bushfires within the last year alone (ahem, climate change). Being prepared to grow your own food by honing your gardening skills is not only socially acceptable, it’s smart. Even in small spaces, you can practice vertical gardening, container gardening, or do research into getting the most caloric bang for your buck by planting things like potatoes, perennial vegetables like artichokes, or edible hedges and fruit trees instead of purely ornamental landscaping. Better yet, learn about foraging and what plants grow locally in the wild that can be used for food or medicine.
Therapist says: Many recent studies have shown that gardening can play a significant role in the treatment of anxiety and depression, being outdoors improves both emotional state and cognitive abilities, the sunshine boosts vitamin D and keeps you from getting rickets, and there’s something deeply satisfying about digging in the dirt. Call it grounding.
“The idea of using gardening to promote better health and wellbeing — called therapeutic horticulture — has been around since the 19th century.”
University of Florida. “Gardening can cultivate better mental health.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 6 July 2022.
2.) Get your steps in.
Need to burn off some adrenaline from the rage of your latest scrolling session? Go for a walk around the neighborhood, or better yet, a run.
You’ll quickly get a feeling for the topographic variations in your immediate vicinity, which is useful if flooding might be an issue. You’ll get a better feel for what safe places exist within easy access of your home – foe example, trees you could climb, or structures that could provide shelter on your way out of town. More importantly, you can identify places that wouldn’t be safe – breaks in fencing, homes with large dogs or particularly sketchy-looking occupants, places where clots of people might form in a panic, that you would do well to avoid. Do it once a week for a year, and you’ll unconsciously be developing a mental map of seasonal variation in the position of the sun – useful for gardening and navigation if rolling power outages become long-term or satellite access is blacked out and you can’t rely on your GPS.
Either way, while you’re scoping out your surroundings, you’ll also be improving your cardiovascular health for when you need to flee the mindless pitchfork and (tiki) torch toting, or giant-scale and duck-toting hordes (depending on your beast/witch ratio and which delightful fairytale your twisted version of armageddon most resembles).
Therapist says: Exercise is widely recognized as an effective component of treatment for a a variety of mental health disorders, including depression and anxiety. Physical exercise can improve cognition, including memory and reaction times, and delay loss of cognitive capacity with ageing. Neuroplasticity, or the essential physiological capacity to “rewire your brain,” uses a process called adaptive learning, which is considered to be a critical skill in cognitive and behavioural therapies and is enhanced in experimental populations that undertake regular physical activity. Studies have also indicated that even short periods of moderate-intensity exercise can reduce inflammation, which is being linked to a variety of physical and mental health conditions as we develop a better understanding of the interaction between our immune system and our microbiome, stress responses, and mood disorders. Walking and running can also have a creativity-boosting effect, and aid in mindfulness practice.
3.) Create community.
Do you know your neighbors? No, me neither. But I’m trying. There’s a guy down the road who owns a bread-mix business. The dude across the street lets me take cuttings of his succulents. The lovely old lady by the corner has a huge lavender plant I’ve been known to pick blossoms from for soap making. The bloke from the back block has a boat. The family in the house with the grey letterbox goes to the park all the time, and can be called upon to babysit in a pinch.
As the venerable Bill Nye once said, “Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” And if some virulent strain of mouse-measels results in street-by-street lockdowns, you’ll be glad you know who’s got construction skills and who brews their own beer. And who’s likely to come at you with a whipper-snipper.
“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.”
Bill Nye
Depending on your local landscape, you can start a community garden, a babysitting/homeschool co-op, or barter your homegrown goods. Not only are you preparing to live in a post-peak-oil world, but you’re developing relationships. If your neighborhood isn’t the friendly type, there are probably local groups run by your town council or through the library where you can connect with people who have similar interests, and even learn new skills.
Therapist says: The complex social relationships of humans has been critical in our evolutionary success as a species. Belonging to a community is a powerful tool in the mental health toolbox, especially in times of crisis. Sharing your experiences with others can normalize your struggles and reduce feelings of isolation.
4.) Get crafty.
Post apocalyptic life isn’t all bow-hunting and building fires (although both are cool). You’ll need blankets and clothing. So learn those skills you always wish you had the time for. Sewing, knitting, weaving, and other fabric/needle arts all get bonus points for being satisfying for tactile-sensory seekers like myself, and are generally inexpensive to get started with. Chances are, there are about a million instructional you tube videos to get you started for free. And if you’re like me and would rather rip out your eye lashes one by one than watch a video, you can probably get a book out of your local library (did you know that many libraries have a free ebook access portal now? you don’t even have to leave the house! unless you still need to sign up for a library card…).
Turned on by woodworking, pottery, smithing, glass blowing, or other hobbies with greater space requirements and a higher cost for equipment? There me be local classes available, or shared studio spaces in your area where you can get a taste for the basics before you build a backyard forge.
For me, crochet is the perfect evening activity. I can stitch away mindlessly and binge watch old episodes of The X-Files and by the time I’m ready to go to bed, I’ve made visible progress on something – which is a huge dopamine hit.
Keep in mind that the future society of your nightmares will also need artists, musicians, and storytellers as well as people who know how to preserve food, build shelter, and bake bread, so whatever you’re passionate about, it’s bound to be useful. A well-rounded survivalist knows that it’s better to have tried a lot of different activities than to have only mastered one or two, so don’t worry if you’re no expert. A pair of slightly wonky mittens will serve you better than the perfect broomstick lace when our already-overtaxed natural resources can no longer support the demands of western civilization.
Therapist says: Having a creative outlet can help with the production of neurotransmitters, increased feelings of self-efficacy, mindfulness, and emotional reflection. Creativity is considered a vital component of human evolutionary success and is ranked as one of the basic requirements of self-actualization according to Maslow’s heirarchy of needs. In particular, creative hobbies have shown to have a positive effect on well-being especially in the middle-aged to older cohort.
5.) Make animal friends.
Did you know that rabbits may be the most efficient household animal protein source? Due to their quick reproductive rates, their high meat-to-feed production ratios (higher than sheep or cattle), and the fact that they don’t require much space, as well as their culinary versatility, rabbit may be the meat of the future.
Did you know that camel milk is extremely high in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals and is also more easily digestible than cow’s milk? It is nutritionally similar to human milk, and may have some medicinal benefits in the treatment of gastro-intestinal complaints. It can be used to make rich butter, savoury cheese, and even creamy skin care products. And a well trained camel can double as transportation and heavy farm equipment in even the most severe climates.
So my kids would actually disown me if I killed any bunnies for food (no matter how delicious they are), and our yard is much too small for keeping a lady camel, but keeping chickens is well within reach, and rewarding in the currencies of eggs, soil enrichment, and entertainment.
Animal husbandry is a valuable skill to develop now in preparation for a locally based food economy in the future.
Unusual pets not your thing? Cats are excellent to have around the farm for rodent control. Dogs have been bred for thousands of years to fill various purposes in addition to companionship, from hunting and herding to security.
So adopt a rescue or take up falconry. Either way, you’re helping to guarantee a future for humans as a species by following the long-honored tradition of domestication of animals.
Therapist says: Pets have been shown to reduce anxiety in a number of studies. The therapeutic benefits of having animal companions are not species limited. Having a fuzzy buddy can also give you a sense of purpose in an otherwise bleak time, and they generally don’t argue with you.
6.) Enjoy some alone time.
Consider the last two years as a practice run for life in isolation. It wasn’t all bad, was it? Working from home has become more widely recognized as a viable option for many businesses, at least if you’ve got the white-collar privilege of an office based role. Contact-free home-delivery services have improved. Expectations around being physically present and lingering for school drop-offs and pickups and attendance at assemblies and other functions have been loosened (thank the stars).
Because let’s face it: peopling is exhausting.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and just can’t muster up the energy to face the social expectations of your peers, take heart. Introversion has become a widely recognized cultural identity, subject to it’s very own meme-verse, and as such it’s become a lot more acceptable to withdraw from interpersonal obligations in order to protect your hard-earned sanity (or lack thereof).
When you feel the need to hunker down for the long haul with all your favorite shelf-stable foods, read an old fashioned book with actual pages that smell like ancient wisdom and tree-souls, and give your deodorant a day off, you aren’t being socially dysfunctional, you are practicing for the next global pandemic. Not only is it environmentally friendly to skip the shower and save on laundry by never changing out of your pajamas, it’s preparation for when the grid goes down and you have to harvest your own rainwater. That stuff is for drinking. Not bathing.
Therapist says: While many of us struggle with abandonment and the fear of being left alone with no company but our own spiraling thoughts, being able to sit with your feelings and just let yourself feel them without judgement or resistance is an important skill when you need to process trauma. It’s called psychological flexibility and it’s a cornerstone of acceptance and commitment therapy, a research-based therapeutic approach to coping with difficult thoughts and feelings.
So whether you’re prepping for the end of the world as we know it (and definitely not feeling fine), or just trying to find some relief from the justifiable anxieties of modern life, know that nothing you do is a waste of time, your feelings are valid, and we’ll get through this together.
productive things you can do with your anxiety